The Power of Society Over Our Identities

Why do we live in a world of labels?

A well-timed witty comment is good sense of humour, however, passive aggressive snarky comments hit close to the heart, impacting one’s mental health. Falling prey to societal pressures and losing your identity is very common if you take everything to the heart. Thinking and analyzing the negative comments you receive from people while maintaining a “good” social media identity can be challenging in today’s world. While receiving spiteful comments from one’s external circle hurts, it can’t compare to the daily comments one receives from their internal circle (family, relatives and close friends). Oftentimes, labels such as “attention-seeker”, “fat”, “clingy”, “ugly”, “slow-learner”, “dumb” amongst other things stick with us, constantly making us self-doubt to an extent that it leads to an identity crisis. Thoughts like “I don’t know who I am”, “I don’t know what to do next”, “Whatever I’ve done has led me to failure”, “I can’t cope up with my peers”, “I’m not good enough” etc. lead to futile conversations with oneself. These thoughts that are inflicted by others lead to an unhealthy vibe of negativity in our body inducing emotions like irritation, sadness, frustration, anger, etc.

Additionally, the American Psychological Association (APA) defines an inferiority complex as “a basic feeling of inadequacy and insecurity, driving from actual or imagined physical or psychological deficiency”. Delusory expectations from family, advertisers, social media, friends, celebrities can reiterate cynical perceptions about one’s self that leads to a colossal amount of self-doubt. As Caren Shapiro, a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist in New York rightly says “when society bombards us with messages about how we should act, what we should acquire, and about what type, size and color our bodies should be, we internalize and feel diminished to such an extent that it affects our own assessment of who we are and what our real worth is”. Don’t let society tarnish your identity.

Giving others the power over your identity can make you feel like a puppet on strings. There are ways to deal with snarky comments which should give you some strength to deal with the different kinds of people you may come across on a daily basis. Don’t let the other person overpower your thoughts. Stay calm, take a deep breath and walk away from the entire situation if the person doesn’t matter to you. But, if it’s a comment from someone you care about, communicate with them and let them know how you felt. Rather than overthinking the comment and crumbling your mind with it, talk it out. Maybe the person unintentionally made a sarcastic comment, and didn’t mean to hurt you. Communication is the key here; instead of assuming, get clarity. This way you would be more at peace mentally than you could ever imagine. Sometimes we get too caught up in the negative things that lead to our insecurity, rather than focusing on the positive things. I recommend you to make a list of the buoyant things about yourself to boost your self-esteem and remind yourself why you matter!