Gratification of Male Objectification: A Trivial Matter

“It’s just as hard to be Ken as it is to be Barbie”.

From “he’s an eye-candy” to “ew, look at his stomach popping out and that short height”, we’ve all either said phrases like this ourselves, witnessed it, or laughed at it. Everywhere I look, the culture of sexual objectification is prevalent amongst both genders. The internalization of stereotypes are often because of media institutions delineating men to conform to certain physical characteristics such as having six-pack abs, triceps, biceps etc. compelling boys & men to feel the pressure to get into gymming. Movies, tv shows and magazines aren’t only made to cater to preexisting appetites of men’s physique, but also play an ideological role in the lives of men who are looking up to those celebrities. Actors are told to rip up in the gym to get the superhero roles, pose topless etc. Furthermore, the term coined by TIME magazine: “manjectification”, is so accurate in today’s world where external pressures are shooting up. Usually, ordinary and average looking men physically are never leading film stars, rather they are comedians or are casted in advertisements to show the guys that are struggling. This makes men psychologically think about wanting to become like the xyz stars so that they can succeed in life rather than their struggling peers. This has become so normalized in our society that our minds are ingrained with the fact that ‘fat is bad’.

Young boys get targeted by their peers and parents if they don’t look a certain way early on in their lives. This may be in terms of their height, weight, facial hair like beard or moustache (to look like a man), bald-shaming etc. Therefore, as they grow a little older (around 17-18 years of age, when they get a little more freedom) they deem necessary to go after their gym bodies and their protein shakes. Having a good body is the new fashion. Conforming to this type of fashion is more important for them than eating nutritious food, mum’s special food, clogging the mind with thoughts about the gym and protein etc. There is a thin line between staying healthy & fit and physically looking like say Brad Pitt or Ranveer Singh. Even though it is offbeat, but, nowadays some girls are willing to accept a boy that has a bad attitude but not a “bad” body. We always complain that women are treated as commodities, but subconsciously when we are choosing our ideal man, we also heed the same nature. We think about his appearance which should fit the patriarchal norms of the society so that your man is accepted by the community.

Additionally, men are the targets of unrivalled levels of perfectionism-driven social anxiety and mental illness. Male body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is on the rise amongst young boys and men. Men with BDD often develop something called “bigorexia”, wherein these types of men only focus on how many muscles they have. For them, their bodies will always be a little bit too small. They continue to train in the gym lifting weights even when injured, use protein supplements, follow special diets to activate muscle mass, abuse steroids or other supplements etc. According to some clinicians in the United States, BDD is a type of OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder). Meditation and therapy are two ways men with BDD could get out of this. Moreover, the vicious cycle of mental illness only escalates if one is unable to accept his vulnerability. The stigma of men processing and accepting their bodies leads them to the domino effect of inferiority complex, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, low confidence, no will to sustain relationships other than with the gym etc. This stigma may be prevalent because within friendship circles men often criticize each other in the name of banter because offering a genuine complement is seen as unmanly. It is important to think twice before doing that, because sometimes it’s not funny.

Even though women also gaze and sexualize men, this topic doesn’t garner media’s attention because men haven’t been subjected to sexual harassment to the levels women have and because sexualization of men isn’t as institutionally prevalent in society. For instance, reposting a picture of Kit Harrington (Jon Snow, Game of Thrones) won’t affect his pay grade, won’t doubt his ability to play serious roles, and won’t define his career by the number of women that want to sleep with him. However, the rules aren’t the same for women. A study in the Journal of Management Inquiry concluded that pay for female movie actors increases until they reach 34, then rapidly decreases (as their age increases), while the top earning year for men is 51 and there is no noticeable decline in wages after that. Similarly, in our day to day lives, gazing men versus gazing women is not the same. Females are being valued more for what they wear because of the increasingly grotesque sexual harassment and rape culture. That being said, as a feminist, ending objectification of both genders is the endgame.

****A special note to Nikunj Gupta and Varshikha Srivastava for coming up with a beautiful poem and for collaborating with me to raise awareness on this issue. Please have a look at their video, it'll only take a minute: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgMLSWZnJYc&feature=youtu.be ****