"Fame-inism": Obscuring the Issue & Missing the Point

Why does feminism have such negative connotations nowadays?

As a millennial girl, I’m present on all social media platforms that keep me updated about everything. Recently, many posts and comments around feminism have made the topic very heated and polarizing. Feminism has become a loaded topic and people are afraid to be identified as feminists. The recent trend on social media is calling out feminists because of certain unjustifiable actions by some individuals which has led to smearing down of the entire movement. Though, this is not the first time the movement has been brought down. An NGO called “Save India Foundation”, a men’s rights group, performed rituals to eradicate “evil feminists” by calling feminism a type of cancer and equating the #MeToo movement with the devil last year. Truly baffling! So, first and foremost, I want to explain what feminism is. Feminism simply means that men and women should have equal rights. The feminist movement began in India (I’m talking about India specifically, but I recognize that women all over have fought for their rights) in the nineteenth century because men and women were never equals. The patriarchal social system has always been partial to men, wherein men are superior and women are inferior. Women all across are only trying to climb up to the level that men received as their birthright. If you support feminism, it doesn’t mean that you’re out there making life hell for men. Being a feminist means desiring a utopian world wherein men and women are equals.

It is perplexing to understand why feminists are being defamed these days making this F-word seem like a sexist insult. Why is this generation afraid of being feminists? The misunderstanding may have escalated because people often get muddled between feminists and misandrists. Time and again, we come across phrases like “men are pigs”, “all men are the same”, “men are trash” etc. Fundamentally, this is misandry, not feminism. Misandry is the hatred of men. Such double standard remarks are often made by pseudo-feminists as they are the ones that ignore the whole idea of feminism (which is equality) and want only women to lead the way into the future (#futureiswomen). These are the people who suggest that all men are terrible and that men don’t go through any social problems. Pseudo-feminists make other women feel bad for supporting men even when they are morally right, and women who support this sometimes lie about men’s actions to seek revenge or attention.

There is, however, a stark difference between the feminist movements in the West than in India because of myraids of socially evil norms that women had to go through over the decades. I want to emphasize the efficacious things the feminist movement has given us. We were able to demolish the absurdity of the Sati system, wherein Hindu widows sacrificed herself by sitting atop of her dead husband’s funeral pyre. We overcame the notion of female foeticide (abortion of female foetus outside of legal methods) and though the coercion of child marriages is still prevalent in India, feminists countrywide are fighting against this evil tradition. Moreover, the movement gave rise to the Gulaabi Gang (The Pink Gang) in Uttar Pradesh to speak up against domestic violence, as well as reaching a peak during the Nirbhaya gang-rape case in Delhi.

Despite achieving those remarkable things, India is the most unsafe country in the world for women. Why then are men and women afraid of the word feminism? Are we so embedded in patriarchy that we can’t see a world beyond it?

Additionally, we are far from the utopian world we desire. There is a sheer difference in the way issues persist in urban India vis a vis rural India. Women in urban India are usually educated and have a voice to a certain extent on social media platforms. Despite all these advantages over lower class women, they do suffer from extreme pressures from society. They suffer from domestic violence but can’t file for a divorce because of pressures from family and of course from her husband. These women suffer under the patriarchal norms of the society and are silenced despite being educated. Even if the families aren’t pressurizing, it requires a lot of courage and zeal to go to the court and face the humiliation of the society. She usually thinks about how society will react to the divorce, how she would be a burden to her parents, how her kids would feel being separated from their fathers especially if they’re too young to understand what’s happening. Moreover, she has to live through the stares and the gossip in her workplace and neighbourhood, which can be psychologically taxing when you’re already going through so much. Furthermore, pressures about dowry, sexist whatsapp jokes, sexist jibes accentuate the struggles of a common woman in the country. Why then are we afraid of being feminists?

Moreover, young educated women find it hard to get justice despite having a voice through social media. Social media is a powerful platform which mobilizes people that desire a social change. However, it is a very tricky platform and its precarious nature makes it very difficult for women to actually stand up for themselves. When one does stand up, she and her family receive threats and abuses from the society who can’t comprehend the severity of the situation. The constant hassle by media houses to cover the story makes it even more intimidating to step forward. Therefore, we need the feminist movement to be stronger than ever to combat the criticisms received on social media. Now, one might object to this and say why not go to the legal system? The problem is that when a woman tries to seek justice, it takes a very long time for things to materialize. Normally, the accused men are able to get out on bail which just defeats the purpose. I’m sure everyone remembers the gruesome rape case of Nirbhaya. Her rapists were hung after seven years. So, isn’t it better to go on social media and create awareness and gather support so that the police act briskly? (Bois Locker Room Case)

Now, talking about women in rural India who go through untold horrors every day which we can only imagine to an extent sitting in our air-conditioned rooms. Rural women in India are suffering. As per the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB), 3.5 lakh cases of crime against women are registered every year, including murder, rape, dowry death, suicide abetment, acid attack, cruelty against women, kidnapping, etc. Only a third of rape cases reported to the police result in a conviction. At the end of 2017, the most recent year for which data is available, Indian courts had a backlog of more than 100,000 rape cases. Most women don’t even file complaints because of societal pressures. Then why do we still believe that the feminist movement should be splotched over because of some individuals misusing it? According to the National Sample Survey, rural women make up to 81.29% of the female workforce in India. Most of these women are agriculture labourers who work on someone else's land in return for wages. These women work for 12 hours a day, manage their households, travel at least 30 minutes a day to fetch fresh water (42% of rural households travel this much at least), and deal with being the targets of domestic violence. Additionally, they are worried about the ludicrous dowry system, they are afraid of their daughters living the same lives they are living because of lack of education, caste system, lack of financial stability, they are scared to be sexually abused at night, they are concerned that their husbands might take the money they’ve so diligently earned to spend on alcohol and the list goes on and on.

So, to everyone who is against the feminist movement, it’s high time we open our eyes. Call out individuals who are slandering feminism instead of discarding the whole movement. I understand if men are against misandry, just like I am against misogyny, but that is not feminism. To all the men out there, I have a little nugget of wisdom for you. Men were the kickstarters of the feminist movement in India because they felt the inequality in our system. If the number of men that support feminism increase, I’m positive that we will make a difference. Let’s come together to flip the script of this F-word. Let’s not stop believing in this ideology till every woman in the country feels like they’re equals to their male counterparts. As long as women have to fight for the rights that men always had, I will be a feminist.