Navigating Life with a Brain Like Spaghetti: Embracing the Chaos

It’s like Google Chrome in here… but emotional

As a woman in my twenties, I often feel like my mind is a tangled web of thoughts—much like a plate of spaghetti. Let me explain what I mean by that. Growing up as a South Asian woman, the drive to become independent and chase success was ingrained in me from the start. I took this to heart and developed traits of being overambitious, an overachiever, and a perfectionist. This constant pursuit often leads to overthinking every move I make, which can be exhausting. Perhaps it's the influence of my workaholic parents or the constant hustle glorified on television that instilled in me the need to always be busy. This perpetual business is something I find hard to let go of. When I have too much free time, I worry that my brain isn't being productive enough and that I might not reach my full potential. To me, idleness feels like the enemy, because it opens the floodgates to a torrent of thoughts. My mind races from "I need to reply to this email" to "I could've solved my problem this other way that I just thought about" to even pondering "What's my mom cooking for dinner?"—despite being thousands of kilometers away from her. It's a constant battle to quiet this internal chatter and embrace moments of stillness without feeling guilty or unproductive.

In a world that often glorifies decisiveness and quick thinking, the act of overthinking is frequently cast in a negative light. Truth be told, I'm also guilty of seeing it as a negative trait. But is it truly as chaotic and detrimental as it's made out to be? As an Economics student, logical reasoning is second nature to me. I find solace in structured approaches, particularly the tried-and-true method of making decisions using a pros and cons list. After all, what could be more logical than weighing the positives against the negatives?

While this may make me seem like an extremely indecisive person, the truth is that I'm quite decisive in my daily life. However, I tend to overthink when faced with hard, life-altering decisions. For such decisions, I just cannot go with the flow. It's ironic because being indecisive is a pet peeve of mine, yet I can't simply go with the flow either because I like to know when the flow starts. Deep thinking allows me to explore every aspect of a decision, ensuring that I've considered all possible angles. This thorough mental exercise equips me with a comprehensive understanding of the situation, enabling more informed choices. Yet, the classic dilemma persists: "What if, despite all this thinking, I still make the wrong decision?" As I navigate the complex landscape of decisions, guided by my moral compass, I've learned to embrace the chaos rather than fear it. Overthinking, when harnessed effectively, can be a powerful tool for introspection and clarity, allowing me to align my decisions with my core values and priorities.

Recently, I've embarked on a journey to transform overthinking into a more balanced practice. Mindful reflection helps me focus on what truly matters, while setting boundaries on decision-making time prevents endless contemplation. For those familiar with my journey, you may have noticed that I've recently embraced contrast therapy, which involves alternating between a cold plunge and sauna sessions. This practice has been pivotal in soothing my mind and sharpening my decision-making clarity. Additionally, incorporating Pilates into my routine has significantly contributed to maintaining a focused and balanced mindset, providing a holistic approach to overall well-being. I appreciate that I've begun to intentionally carve out time for myself amidst life's chaos, finding balance while juggling various responsibilities.

Ultimately, overthinking doesn't have to equate to chaos. By leveraging its potential, it can lead to more thoughtful and aligned choices.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on how you find mental clarity amidst the chaos of daily life. Do you have other rituals that help you stay grounded? Share your experiences in the comments, and let's inspire each other to find balance and peace in our busy lives.